Feminists say that if they walk around naked and get raped, it’s not their fault. Let me ask you this, if you owned a bank and left the doors wide open with no security and you got robbed in the middle of the night, is it the robbers fault or yours?
Literally the robber’s fault??? They walked in and took something that wasn’t theirs??? They knew pretty well that they shouldn’t steal things??? What is your argument even trying to prove???
The slaughter of children in the Hunger Games was portrayed as one of the horrors of a dictatorship in a horrendous dystopia. Not something to be sought after and glorified as a romantic movie. How can anyone even compare the two?!
can we stop conditioning teens on tumblr to be terrified of being wrong or misinformed ??? you can’t ask a damn question on here without someone jumping down yr throat??? let kids learn from their mistakes because they WILL LEARN. don’t go telling teenagers to kill themselves or doxx them over misguided opinions jesus christ stop terrifying people into submission its abusive fcked up and wrong
Me: I’m sad
Friend: don’t be
Me: wow I’m so much better now thanks
Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which – newsflash – do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
Let me
just
fucking
drop
some fucking
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe – In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane – One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual – Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.
What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.
IF YOUR BOYFRIEND MAKES JOKES ABOUT YOUR BODY, WEIGHT, EATING DISORDER, RECOVERY, ETC, MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HOW HE’S SINGLE AND THEN WALK OUT THE DOOR BECAUSE THAT IS SOME FUCKEN BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE A BAD BITCH WHO DESERVES BETTER OK OK
Kind of on the fence with this one. I read the article and it appears that they actually do care about the child, but are scared for her because their families and the town they live in are racist as fuck. They also both acknowledged that they may not really have the cultural competency needed to raise the baby, as they really didn’t have much contact with Black people until much later on in their lives.
So, it’s not so much that they are like EW MY BABY IS BLACK AND I WANT TO SUE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SPERM BANK, it’s more so I SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR A WHITE DONOR, AND WHILE I DO LOVE MY CHILD AND BONDED WITH HER IMMEDIATELY, THE SPERM BANK STILL WAS NEGLIGENT, AND NOW I AM SCARED BECAUSE I CURRENTLY DO NOT HAVE THE SOCIAL AND CULTURAL MEANS TO PROPERLY CARE FOR MY CHILD
Probably ignore it then go back to making male tears mugs and gifs
Actually this is a very common idea among feminists
It’s something feminists have been talking about for years it’s called toxic masculinity and it’s one of the common threads among the topic of ‘Patriarchy hurts men too’. If fact the first time I read about toxic masculinity was on a feminist blog.
If you actually read things feminists talk about instead of straw manning them you might know this but OH WELL
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