Hello,_____,
I missed part of today’s class to take a trip to___________, but before I left, you were talking about abusive relationships, and it really got me upset.
Ignoring the fact that teachers are not supposed to impose their personal beliefs and opinions on matters outside of their class’ subject, you really said some things that are not true and are actually very damaging to how abusive relationships are perceived in today’s culture. I like to believe that I am educated in subjects such as this, and I have previously formed my own opinions, but I cannot say the same for others in my class. While some may also have their own opinions, there are some students in every class that are so impressionable, they will adopt their teacher’s opinion no matter what.
You said that if you were in an abusive relationship, you would leave as soon as your significant other mistreated you. Did you know that the chances of an abused spouse being murdered by the abuser triples once they separate/divorce? That 4,000 women die every year due to domestic violence? Maybe this woman that came and spoke to you about –likely trusted you with the secrecy of– this subject was staying in this relationship longer than what might have been healthy to her mental and physical well-being because she was scared that she could be murdered once she left? Or perhaps she had children she may lose custody to when separating, and they would be left with her abusive husband? Or maybe she was discouraged by her other failed attempts at leaving the relationships, as it takes abused spouses an average of seven attempts to successfully leave a violent relationship?
Not to mention that an abuser often manipulates their spouse or significant other into believing that the abuse and battering is deserved. An abusive spouse makes it so that their significant other blames themselves for the attacks. It is so hard to come out of abusive relationships, and is more dangerous to leave them than to stay with that partner.
(Source)
I am not looking for an apology, or much of a reply at all. I would just like you to know the severity of comments like this, and to know the facts about what you’re teaching this new, young, impressionable generation of leaders.
Thank you,
Dana
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