Tag: reference

spookymajor:

note to self don’t think about your otp curled up together in bed, legs and arms all tangled together between blankets to fight off the cold and listening to the sound of rain and each other’s breathing, faces buried in tangles of hair or against the other’s chest/neck and pressing little kisses against their cheek or their shoulder or their neck and mumbling about how lucky they are to have the other because you will get feelings and then cry

my-herbal-journey:

findchaos:

whowasntthere:

Some fun (and cheap) make-up hacks for those people that like playing around with make-up, or even just using a tiny bit on special occasions! These are just my tried and true go-tos for my own make-up routine, and they certainly aren’t the only way to go about things! I have plenty more to add in the future, so let me know how you liked these!

These are awesome, especially when you’re someone like me who uses make-up maybe twice a year, so you don’t exactly have everything you want on hand. My wife is a MacGuyver of make-up (and comics, wtf, I looked away for a second and she pops out this awesomeness).

In love!

doctorofdragons:

sherlocksmyth:

THOU = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE FUCKING DOING SOMETHING.

THEE = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE HAVING SOMETHING FUCKING DONE TO YOU.

THY = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING VOWEL.

THINE = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING CONSONANT.

IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE SHITTY OLD ENGLISH TEXT POSTS, DO IT RIGHT.

Holy shit I’ve never known the actual rules before. Thank you, OP.

quirkybrittany:

consulting-equestrian:

zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.

You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

this is truly terrifying…

i think i’ve posted this before but if u want to dissolve dead bodies use basic solutions instead of acidic solutions because the sale of acids is more closely monitored by law enforcement and acidic fumes are more unbearable ^_^

Gif Tutorials

lacostume:

tuxedosaldente:

shoresoftheshadowlands:

aperfectillusion:

lettersfromdua:

aperfectillusion:

Step 1: Go someplace public with your laptop.

Step 2: Click HERE

Step 3: Press f11

Step 4: Start typing frantically.

Step 5: Make sure other people see your screen.

Step 6: ???????

Step 7: Profit

it helps if you roll your neck a few times, grunt and crack your knuckles. Trust me. 

Holy fucking shit. This has 80 thousand notes?!?!

THIS IS WAY MORE ENTERTAINING THAN IT SHOULD BE

i donT EVEN BUT YES