stop-regretting-start-living13:
how to be a winner
This is so important
bruh đđžđ.
Home girl boutta schmooze her way through college
That discussion board one actually works. Got an A in that portion of my Senior Sem doing that. This is gold.
This is her calling. You can DEFINITELY use the same hacks at your job with a few tweaks here & there!
Literally this is how Iâve survived 3.75 years of college. This is gold. This is truth.
Passing college like a SlytherinâŚâŚâŚI love it
Tag: important
@literallytoofab and also every other fren
âParticularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on themâŚor else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter âaverageâ performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.â
Holy SHIT
WELL THEN
Yep.
They actually tested me for a learning disability in high school because I was consistently failing math.
They discovered that I actually scored in the 80th percentile in that sort of learning.
Problem was, in every other subject, I was in the 99.8th percentile.
I had never learned how to study because I never needed toâand then, when something proved to be even the slightest bit challenging, my brain went
âLOL nope this is impossible abortâ
Meanwhile, this entire time Iâm scraping by in subjects like English. The assignments I did turn in, Iâd score top marksâbut Iâd avoid turning in projects I didnât think were âgoodâ enough.
Essentially, my brain had two settings: â100%â or â0%â.
This sort of Baby Genius shit makes kids and adolescents neurotic and self-destructive.
We learned about this in Child Development. And we learned to reward hard work and not good job. Like donât say to a child, âoh you are so smart.â Say âOh did worked so hard.â
Be proud of the child, not the achievement.
Be proud of the child, not the achievement.
Decades of research have been done on this by Dr. Carol Dweck. When the emphasis is placed on effort (a factor people can control) rather than talent (an innate skill), itâs a lot easier to see mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than something you just wonât ever be good at. And kids who were encouraged by effort were also more willing to take on more challenging work and considered it a lot more fun, while the kids who were praised for their intelligence were reluctant to put themselves in a situation where they might lose that identifier as a âsmart kidâ by making mistakes, so they preferred to do work they were confident they could master. Also, the kids praised for effort wanted to compare their results to kids who got higher scores, to see where they made their mistakes, while those praised for intelligence wanted to compare their results to kids who scored lower, to reassure themselves.
Not only does this set up âsmartâ students for a lot of trouble when they enter college and start being regularly challenged, the effects last long beyond that. It can be very hard for the âyouâre so smart!â kids to unlearn as they become adults and struggle with even common adult things, and are afraid to ask for help because of that lesson they learned from misguided praise that they are supposed to be smart and supposed to know the answers.Â
âŚHonestly +1 here.  Itâs very well researched and documented and yeah.  Making the emphasis on âYou succeed and we are proud of you b/c you are SMART as an intrinsic quality!â makes failure/setbacks/difficulty -TERRIFYING- b/c if youâre âsmartâ it doesnât happen and if you fail that means youâre not smart and thatâs what everyoneâs drilled into you as your main point of worth.
And the rates of anxiety disorders among âgifted studentâ kids are kinda horrifying. Â Â
I mean, if all your life youâre told âyouâre so smart!â by teachers, parents, friends, etc., when you run into a situation you canât just glide through like normal ⌠you kind of go into this personal crisis of identity thing. Like:Â
You canât do this. So you arenât smart. But everyoneâs always said youâre smart. But youâre not smart anymore. So ⌠what are you?
Not a fun time.
why hello there Impostor Syndrome I was hoping to never see you again ever.
When Culture Wounds Children, film at 11âŚ
What percentage is okay to call yourself Poc? I’m 20% Native American but idk if I have the right to call myself poc bc I’ve always been white passing and I have all the privileges of being seen as white… I was raised without the culture of my grandfather’s tribe. I actually only recently discovered my heritage. I just don’t know if I have the right to call myself Poc, what do you think?
Well Iâm not a native american or poc so I donât really feel qualified or able to answer this, honestly, but maybe a follower has an idea?
I can answer this! Kind of.
And by kind of, I mean that itâs very complicated and ultimately subjective. Even after all this explanation there may be opinions that will say otherwise. I just hope that I can give you my two cents and that I can help you find an answer. I myself am half Native American (Iroquois Mohawk, to be specific) and half white. And while I grew up in a family that was doing its best to conform to white culture (Christian practices, white foods, an entire half of my family that had no idea Mohawk was anything other than a hairstyle, etc.) my siblings and I were also doing our best to learn about a culture that was just as much a part of us as the white part. We learned the Mohawk language from our grandmother and each have a Iroquois name, and every time I visit Akwesasne, our local reservation, the most nostalgic feeling wells up inside me and Iâm a little kid all over again.Â
These experiences that Iâve had, however, donât sound much like what youâve experienced. And while I hate to be the bearer of bad news thereâs much more to a race than blood; itâs also how youâve been raised and what youâve experienced. It sounds to me like you havenât had much exposure at all to that tribeâs culture and just know the percentage of it in you. Iâm 50% Mohawk, 25% Irish, and 25% German. Iâve never experienced Irish or German culture, so it would be wrong of me to claim that I was either of those races simply due to my heritage.
But that canât stop you from learning about your culture! I can almost guarantee you that, whatever tribe you are, itâs going extinct and its culture is in jeopardy. Thereâs no harm in learning about different cultures, just be respectful and know that culture is a sensitive and complex thing! c:
Trevor breaks down the presidential race between Hillary Clinton and
Donald Trump.READ THIS^^^^^
Hi so please vote Hillary so trans people can stay on hormones and go to the bathroom.
It would be nice if you could save your shows of write-in candidate bravado for a year when trans people arenât being openly attacked and attacks on them literally arenât part of the Republican platform.
I mean Bernie gave Hillary his endorsement and if heâs obviously gonna vote for her and not himself or a third party I think itâs time to vote for Hillary to not wreck a bunch of peopleâs lives for the sake of a spiteful political gesture.
This trans person says thanks.
Also, please vote for the 469 congress seats opening this year! As a friend pointed out, if you want to see real change, you have to stop focusing on the parlor politics. Vote Bernie for Speaker of the House. Vote Dems into congress. Vote progress past the White House, so we can actually make good things happen in this country instead of getting blocked every time there is a progressive idea brought up.
it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldnât tip
anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldnât afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like ânonono itâs fineâ and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff â- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free
and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friendâs mom came in and said âi heard what you did for that boyâ and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her
and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didnât want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said âsheâs been a good waitress, though,â he said, âbut just plain good isnât worth 15%â
damn
DANG
This is still one of my favorite stories
I am proud to be a fan of John Cenaâs.
I applaud you John Cena. And thank you.
Braving Native American Diversity
Native American diversity is a two-pronged topic. First, there is the whole concept of introducing Native American characters, then there is picking which tribe youâre dealing with. This began as a reply to an ask we received recently and has since expanded into a general guide.
Native American characters are wildly under-represented in media, as a whole. 0.5% of movie roles go to Native actors, there are 0 Native protagonists in the top 100, and less than 1% of childrenâs books feature Native people (source). As a result, it can be very intimidating to even consider writing them, because there is so little good representation. It can become tempting to change it, especially after an initial fling with the stereotypes.
There are a lot of stereotypes about Native Americans, and it can be extremely difficult to figure out whatâs fact from fiction. Where is the line between Noble Savage and a spiritual character who puts stewardship of the earth as a priority? It can be very difficult to tell.
That being said, making a respectful Native character is not actually that difficult in the grand scheme of things. The steps are simple:
1– Pick a nation/tribe
2- Research that tribeâs customs to get a rough idea of how their upbringing would influence them
3– Flesh out how that character relates to their identity and the rest of the world
4– Basic character building stuff
5– Get somebody of the group to look it over for glaring issuesAnd youâre done.
Ethnicities are not âflavoursâ. Theyâre not something you pick out of a grab bag of âOh, I should have this.â Yes, they can start that way, but you canât just toss away a huge part of a characterâs background without due thought.Â
If you can throw the ethnicity out, then you were nowhere near to creating a good character in general. Changing characters happens, yes, but things like race impact so much of the character growing up (especially a marginalized identity) that simply tossing them out without a thought is, to me, a sign you really didnât try for good representation. You just wanted a flavour, a little extra special something, and once you realized that was hard, you cut it.
If you changed it because you didnât have a reason to be diverse, why? Do people need reasons to be diverse in real life? Can you really not imagine a world where a Native character would exist in a group of friends? From Nikhil:
You donât really have to have to reason to make a character a specific ethnicity, but the usage of that ethnicity has to be appropriate. Â So itâs probably best to settle on a characterâs ethnicity early on and use that as a starting point for proper research, instead of just using the ethnicity as decoration and then having to redo your worldbuilding and/or characterization halfway through because you realized you were falling prey to stereotypes.
Diversity is not optional. Thatâs really the bottom line. Spend a day people watching and youâll notice that the world is extremely varied just on external appearances. This doesnât count what you canât tell from a single person standing still (such as mental disabilities, sexual orientation, trans status, invisible illnesses), or the ridiculously wide variety of life experiences.
Just picking and choosing an ethnicity like itâs the characterâs favourite colour is wildly disrespectful. If youâre avoiding it because itâs too scary, too hard, too fill with minefieldsâ know they wonât be disarmed until there is good representation to draw from. Would you rather be one of the reasons future writers struggle with this, or do you want to be part of the solution?
And you know what? The way you get better at writing marginalized identities is to write marginalized identities. I would not be where I am as a writer or a researcher today if I didnât have ten years of experience writing non-Western fantasy under my belt. Yes, I will admit I started off with a certain amount of exotification, but it has been a better education unlearning that exotification than avoiding it. Now, Iâm far more cautious about what I research, how I research it, and respecting the culture on its own terms instead of mine.
The hard truth is: you will only unlearn all this stuff and start asking better questions if you admit you know nothing at the start, everybody starts somewhere, and there are resources out there to help you. It will be difficult. It will be painful, cause youâll probably come across dozens of call outs like this. Youâll probably get tired of reading them.
Natives are just as tired of writing these callouts. Weâre tired of people taking our identities, thinking theyâre doing a good job, and not knowing what they donât know so much that we have to give them an educationâ againâ because we are not represented and they genuinely do not know better.
Donât shy away from learning. Itâs how you grow.
~Mod Lesya
bornabitch-allthedaysandnights:
Waluigi just wants to say, he believes that cultural appropriation is when you take a part of someoneâs heritage/culture and make a mockery of it.
 Not when you dread your hair, not when you wear a bindi, not when you get a dream catcher tattoo. Â
Dressing up in traditional African garb to make fun of African culture? Â Thatâs cultural appropriation. Â Saying âhellaâ in a sentence? Â Not cultural appropriation.
Do-a you see the difference?
You clearly donât understand appropriation at all. Make sure to read the last paragraph.
Cultural appropriation is a anthropological concept. Itâs studied, researched and discussed in academic journals. Tumblrâs probably the first place youâve come across it though, so I can understand your confusion.
No one who is against cultural appropriation is against participating or involving in other cultures. The problem with appropriation is that it is the misrepresentation, misuse, and/or decontextualization of traditions from already marginalized/oppressed groups. Itâs a concept from the social sciences, particularly anthropology and specifically describes a harmful/exploitative colonialist power dynamic. It reinforces stereotypes, Eurocentric beauty standards, racist colonial/imperial power dynamics, and in many cases can be a form of visual/symbolic dehumanization.
If you want to participate and involve yourself in other cultures, you have to do it on their terms, and not feel entitled to their cultural practices. Itâs not that hard to respect another culture by acknowledging and respecting their boundaries. Interested in Native American cultures? Awesome. Go to a powwow, donât desecrate a warbonnet. Interested in South Indian culture? Go to a bharatanatyam performance, donât slap a bindi on your forehead.
Additionally you need to understand that intention is irrelevant. Even if people do things because they like them or think theyâre pretty, they can still be racists. â⌠people will frequently argue that a particular statement or action doesnât constitute racism because racism wasnât intended. As noted elsewhere, in Human Rights law and anti-racism education, intentionality is irrelevant. It is the effect/impact of the action on the target person/group that is to be considered and takes precedence.â  â âThe other way I think white people avoid an honest account in discussion of racism is when we reduce racism only to overtly prejudiced or racist kinds of intentions. Most white people I know, and Iâm not just talking about, you know, radicals or liberals or whatever, but most white people in the United States today do not go into situations with the intention of being overtly racist. And therefore, people say, white people often say, âWell, if there was a problem it wasnât my fault because I didnât intend to be a racist in the way that Bull Connor or George Wallace â pick your favorite overtly white supremacist, Southern bigot from the 1950s acted. But racism, again, just is not about simply people being treated badly. Itâs not simply about intentions. One can act in a way that reinforces a white-supremacist system, even though one doesnât have the intention of being a racist.âÂ
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