Learn to defend against a bigot grabbing your hijab from behind!
In this post-election hate-crime spike, self defense is more important than ever. Practice this move until it becomes muscle memory and teach your body to react before thinking.
(via Zee Abdulla)
Signal boost. Anyone know if this would work equally as well if he grabbed with his other hand? I feel it wouldn’t, but it’s still better than nothing.
If the attacker used the other hand, then the woman wearing the hijab could use the opposite arm than is shown. SO PRACTICE BOTH SIDES.
Also please note the position of her arm on his. It’s not on the elbow but just above it. That is will be important for the submission. The grip on her hand is important as well. It looks like she is using a monkey grip where the thumb stays with the fingers of the hand instead of wrapping around. It protects your thumb from being broken and can be a stronger grip in general.
But yes, practice practice practice practice
Btw, if you click on her name, Zee Abdulla, in the post it takes you to her Facebook where she has another video for a defense for a front hijab grab.
Tag: health
I needed this.
For anyone who needs this x
I needed this today, shit’s been hard. Keeping fighting m’dudes, ily ❤
Reblogging to save someone
How to Tell Your Friend That You Need a Break From Supporting Them
When I worked at a mental health crisis centre, I couldn’t believe how many people came to us, not because of their own problems, but because they were so lost in a friend’s pain that they couldn’t take it anymore. I saw a lot of people who were so worn down from helping someone else that they couldn’t sleep, eat, socialize or focus at work or school. They were consumed with guilt every time they put down their phones, went to sleep, or dared to enjoy themselves and have a good time. All because they had no idea how to set boundaries.
Helping your friends through a tough situation is a wonderful and noble thing to do, but it only works if you’re mentally in a place to do so. If you’re dealing with issues or mental illness of your own, you’re not always capable of being someone else’s shoulder to cry on 24/7. And that’s okay. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first. You can’t help someone else if you’re a mess yourself. You can’t save a drowning person with a sinking ship.
Telling a friend that you’re overwhelmed and you need a break is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Honesty is the best policy – don’t go radio silent on them, or avoid answering their messages. Be honest about how you’re feeling, and what you need from them. If you’re stuck on what to say and how to start the conversation, here are a few suggestions. Feel free to copy them exactly:
It’s really hard for me to admit this, but I’ve been feeling like I’m on the verge of a breakdown lately. I love you and I care about you, but I need to take some time to take care of myself for a while.
I’m really concerned about you, but I honestly don’t know how to deal with this and I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing. I really think that you should talk to a professional about this.
This is hard for me to admit, but I have a lot going on in my life right now, and it’s getting to be too much for me. Would it be okay if we talked about lighter stuff for the next little while?
You deserve more support than I can give you. I think you need to tell a close family member or professional about what’s going on.
It seems like every time we talk about this, things are worse for you. I’m worried that my advice isn’t helping you at all, and I think you should talk to someone more qualified than me.
I’m really worried for your safety, and it breaks my heart, but I can’t keep you safe all by myself. Would it be okay if we told someone else what was going on?
I’m sorry, but I can’t answer my text messages 24 hours per day. I really want to make sure that you always have someone to turn to if I’m not available. Are there some other people you would trust with this? I can help you tell them, if you’re not comfortable doing it by yourself.
I hope these suggestions are helpful – best of luck to all of you, and make sure to put your own mental health first when you have to.
Was just going to say this in the tags, but it was turning into an essay because apparently I have strong feelings about these, so I’ll just say it here:
I believe this post applies even to people who don’t or don’t think they have a mental illness. Dealing with mental illnesses and breakdowns is EXTREMELY stressful, and I’m saying that both as someone who has been mentally ill since childhood, and as someone who has tried his best to help friends and family members manage their own mental illnesses and crises. It’s the kind of stress that can break someone, even if they started from a space of perfect health (imo people with perfect mental health are basically unicorns, but that’s beside the point). That does not have to happen to you. PLEASE use the suggestions in this post if you’re feeling the strain, regardless of whether you have a diagnosed mental illness or not. Don’t break your own back trying to lift someone else up.
caregiver fatigue/burnout is a documented thing among even the most neurotypical, trained, educated, and paid workers. if your friends need you, you have to make sure to keep yourself stable and healthy in order to keep being there for them.
drowning people will pull you under: they can’t help it. it’s crucial to your success, in trying to help people in trouble, to make sure you put supports and safeguards in place to effectively help them, rather than sink with them.
dogs are so good
Breed does not designate service!
When you guys have visited potential apartments, what kind of questions did you ask besides the basics like what rent and utilities include?
Here are questions I didn’t ask but should have: what does the basement look like?
What measures are taken to secure the building ?
Are the walls thin?
Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix?
Where does the garbage go?Can I pay rent bi-weekly?
What kind of fuses does the apartment use? (My fuse box is in the basement. If I blow a fuse I have to replace it myself. They screw until the box. All of which I didn’t know until it happend and I was sitting in the dark suddenly)Who do I call for repairs? (If it’s a private rental)
Am I allowed to paint the walls?
Is there any additional storage?
Do you do regular pest control?LAUNDRY FACILITIES
Definitely ask about security
Whether subletting is allowed (esp if you’re in college and might want to sublet for the summer)
If you have a car, whether there’s parking/how much it costs
What kind of heating/AC there is
Procedure/response time for any maintenance
How mail/packages are received/protected from theft (seriously people stealing your packages can be a huge problem)
What kind of verification of your salary will they want, and in what circumstances will they accept a guarantor instead?
Whether the apartment is furnishedAssuming you are in the middle of looking at/choosing between places:
When does the lease start? Are you going to give preference to people based on when they can move in?
Whether groups of a certain number of people get preference
Really anything about who they prioritize for applications, it can save you a lot of trouble in trying to apply to places you’ll never get intocount the outlets, ask about recycling policies, ask if there’s a noise restriction (nothing loud after midnight, everything goes on the weekend, etc)
What are the upfront fees for moving in? (1 month, brokers, 1 month security fee?)
Is there a credit check fee? (shouldn’t be over $25. shouldn’t even exist really but credit check fees at $125, 150? robbery)
Ask about the intercom system, ask about security cameras, ask about the locks on the front door. One place I looked at, the building was locked, and the broker jimmied the front door open with his business card. If the broker could do it, so could a rapist
Is there a live-in super? (godsends, heroes) If so ask to meet them. A lazy, ignorant, or uncaring super is a nightmare waiting to happen. An active, interested, proud one is excellent, even better if they’re union
How do I pay my rent? (Check, money order?) Can I pay online? (If check/money order mailed in is the only way, make sure to get receipts for sending the rent out every month!! Critical!! Keep your proof of payments made on time every time in case they get on some foul shit. Landlords are out here to screw you and make money)
When does the lease renew? Can I negotiate a two-year option at a reduced monthly rate? Can I get $50, $100, $200 off the rent? (it doesn’t hurt to ask!!) Does the rent go up significantly after a year, two years? (Places with “introductory rents” or rent deals may do this to you… you may not be able to afford that apt once it goes up to its regular price!)
Is this apt rent-controlled or rent-stabilized? (NYC thing, godsend)
Have there ever been bed bugs in this apartment/in this building? (at least in nyc they are legally obligated to disclose this to you i believe)
What documents do they REALLY NEED for the application? (lots of places will want a former landlord recommendation letter… lots of places will also just let that shit slide if you have most of your packet together)
When is the apt available for moving in? Can I start the move-in process earlier than my lease start date? If so, will prorated rent be added onto my bill or no? (some places will nickel and dime you with that shit)
not something for asking the realtors, necessarily, but important rights you should be aware of as a tenant:
when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?
can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?
what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)
if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property
is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year
are the landlords/property management liable for crimes on the property? for example, if your car was broken into. if not GET RENTER’S INSURANCE
-ask if there’s any property upkeep you can do to get a bit off the rent (aka, can they take 100$ off the monthly rent if you maintain the lawns/garden, etc.)
-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it
-what KIND of electricity?
-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)
-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know)
-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right.
also ask if renter’s insurance is required!! some places require it.
Drowning Doesn’t Look Like Drowning
The new captain jumped from the deck, fully dressed, and sprinted through the water. A former lifeguard, he kept his eyes on his victim as he headed straight for the couple swimming between their anchored sportfisher and the beach. “I think he thinks you’re drowning,” the husband said to his wife. They had been splashing each other and she had screamed but now they were just standing, neck-deep on the sand bar. “We’re fine; what is he doing?” she asked, a little annoyed. “We’re fine!” the husband yelled, waving him off, but his captain kept swimming hard. ”Move!” he barked as he sprinted between the stunned owners. Directly behind them, not 10 feet away, their 9-year-old daughter was drowning. Safely above the surface in the arms of the captain, she burst into tears, “Daddy!”
How did this captain know—from 50 feet away—what the father couldn’t recognize from just 10? Drowning is not the violent, splashing call for help that most people expect. The captain was trained to recognize drowning by experts and years of experience. The father, on the other hand, had learned what drowning looks like by watching television. If you spend time on or near the water (hint: that’s all of us) then you should make sure that you and your crew know what to look for whenever people enter the water. Until she cried a tearful, “Daddy,” she hadn’t made a sound. As a former Coast Guard rescue swimmer, I wasn’t surprised at all by this story. Drowning is almost always a deceptively quiet event. The waving, splashing, and yelling that dramatic conditioning (television) prepares us to look for is rarely seen in real life.
Keep reblogging this; summer is upon us and that means swimming season.
learn, and stay safe folks ❤
heres some cool flash games in case youre bored
you wanna be a dragon??? well have i got the game for you
haunt the house and get your ghosty home back
a cool space kid and his alien??? thing??? go on adventures
a game about moving on [tw for death, implied animal death, and loud noises]
a sea monster and the world around it
its called sushi cat do you even need more than this
a creepy post-apocalypse game where you protect the last plant on earth
its like animal crossing but less cool graphics and everyones a bunny
congratulations youre in charge of a bunch of rollercoasters
a werewolf goes on a pleasant nighttime stroll [tw for violence and blood, all of it very cartoony and animated though]
a cool 8bit dungeon platformer with cool video game music
a pretty adventure game where you find the treasure to save your village
Some of my favorites:
Cursor*10 – little game where you have several “lives”. you use your cursor to navigate the floors, and when the time runs out, you go back to the beginning. however, the previous cursors will go through the same path they made before, thus allowing you to get further each time.
Daymare Town – creepy point and click game. very inky, interesting drawings. you have to find your way through (or perhaps out of) Daymare Town, which is inhabited by obscure prickly people.
Grid Game – there are a bunch of little circles. click one, and watch it rotate and set off a chain reaction. mindless distraction game.
Samsara Room – a strange escape game where you’re stuck in one room but pass through different dimensions to get out
i saw her standing there – zombie love story. super cute. there’s a sequel too.
Feed the Head – more like interactive art than anything. there are several different things to do in this game.
Factory Balls – a bit of a puzzle game. you have to paint a bunch of balls to match the model shown, using various options and paints.
Grow Nano Vol. 3 – one of my favorites of the Grow series. you have to click the options in the right order in order to make the sick person feel better. this one just warms my heart.
make sure to click the tags to find more games by the creators and companies and the rest of the games in the series!!!
I find Tonypa’s games to be simple, unique, and enjoyable. A lot of them involve patterns, colors, and matching, so they’re very calming as well.
some from me!!
deep thinking games with exploration themes…
6 differences – a pretty cool find the difference game that’s very atmospheric and somewhat soothing in the first levels, mostly takes place at night around a city, features sound effects and music and even moving cars down the highways. content warning for some surrealism and acid-trippy effects in the later levels (a person with a deer head, some kind of alarming music, the level’s walls moving as you look for the differences, etc – sometimes the level changes after you find all but one clue, and in one instance a train goes by rather suddenly and loudly, but it didn’t make me jump and i am sensitive to jump scares)
i can hold my breath forever – a game about exploring underwater caves in search of a friend. some references to drowning!
i wish i were the moon – short and sweet game about two people and a moon! clone things and move them around to get different endings :3
small words – a soothing platformed-style exploration game that lets you uncover different maps/pictures as you walk around
don’t look back – a creepy game based on the myth of orpheus and eurydice, this is a platformer-style game that has you going to the underworld to get your lover back. very atmospheric, but a slightly creepy atmosphere that (of course) references death, so take care
alight in dreams – during a dream you get wings, and explore the dream to find out about the history of a person who has never dreamed before. mentions death and suicide.
a house in california – explore an old house and learn its history, very atmospheric. can be a bit confusing for some, you may need a walkthrough.
silent conversation – a soothing game that makes levels out of passages of classic books; you win by toughing every word. not my preferred reading material, but the way the levels are built kind of force you to drink it all in stead of speeding through it.
games that are a bit creepy…
prior – you, a little box creature, wake without your memories in an unknown place. you must explore to find your family and figure out what happened before you woke. a dark game with multiple possibilities – can be a little creepy.
immorTall – an alien makes friends with a human family after crashlanding to earth. defend them as long as possible!
loved – a dark sort of game where you go through the levels deciding if you will choose to obey the voice giving you orders or defy it. in some casing obeying makes things easier, but in other cases the voice asks you to make things hard on yourself – throwing yourself onto spikes so you have to start over, etc. sometimes it is almost impossible to do what the voice asks. (serious warning for emotional manipulation, just to be safe – the question at the start will purposefully misgender you depending on your answer, and continue to do so throughout the game, but, depending on your actions, will then correct the mistake at the end.)
one chance – a kind of dark game; in the impending apocalypse you have one chance to decide what to do with the rest of your life. there are many endings, but you really do only have one chance…refreshing the page will not let you play again! content warning for death,suicide, impending doom, hopelessness, etc
every day the same dream – another fatalistic game with multiple endings, but this one allows you to find them all. same warnings as the one above.
elude – a metaphorical representation of depression. dark melancholy levels, nice atmosphere, but can be a little moody.
symon – you play as an elderly man stuck in a hospital bed. you sleep to dream and relive your past. this game is pretty much endless and features endless combinations of the same tasks, to reflect what that sort of life might be like. cw for death and end-life blues.
now for some lighter ones…
pizza king 2 – i found this sim where you run your own pizza shop weirdly addictive. food cw, of course, and it’s the only sim on here because they usually aren’t my thing, but, well.
boomshine & obechi – two colorful games where a well-placed click will start a chain reaction and see how many points you can collect!
filler – a similar concept to the ones above
music bounce – release bouncing balls to hit platforms to get the perfect rhythm!
dropsum & dropsum colors – math games where you combine numbers to eliminate them. you can choose where to drop the numbers, turn the board, and use powerups! (dropsum colors isn’tloading for me rn, but it might for you)
first person tetris – you spin with the tetris blocks! fun for pros, but it can make you dizzy.
flash tron – a recreation of the original tron game as seen in the movies. here you can play with others online!
dolphin olympics – super fun game where you swim and do tricks as a dolphin to score as many points as you can in two minutes. there’s also a freeplay mode. if you jump high enough, you may even see the moon ouo
mirror’s edge 2d – i adore the 3d version of this game for ps3, but if you don’t have access, you can play the mini/2d version. no real story, but it’s a very challenging game with rad animation!
bubble tanks tower defense – pretty fun tower defense game that doesn’t get old too quickly.
bloons – i started playing the tower defense game, but they’re all pretty fun and complex. scroll down a bit and click any of the ones under “bloons games”
elephant games – a sort-of series with gems like “achievement unlocked” & sequels (where there is no objective except to complete all the achievements) and “this is the only level” (where you go through the same level many different ways). you grow to be quite fond of the little guy. :’D
some of these i haven’t played in awhile! i pulled from my bookmarks, because i used to spend all day curating links to these things. if i’ve missed a content warning PLEASE feel free to contact me about it or add it yourself!
More great free games.
Well, there goes all my free time.
The medical community on literally every female specific health issue ever: “very common condition” “no known cause” “no known cure” :))))))
What the fuck is tumblr? Like honestly what is this? Do you guys pull shit out of the inner most depths of your rectum and then just throw it on your keyboard and have it turn into a post???? This site is something else what the fuck is wrong with you people????!?!?
Endemetriosis
Vaginal Thrush
Menorrhagia
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
Fibroids
Very common conditions, causes are unknown or only speculated, long term cures have not been found. Most can cause chronic pain or discomfort, all can seriously impact your quality of life.
Men are so damn privileged they can’t even imagine female bodies have different healthcare needs than theirs and that our healthcare needs are important even if they can’t be affected by one of these conditions.
Endometriosis causes excruciating pain and is a leading cause of infertility. Thrush is extremely
uncomfortable, and expensive to treat repeatedly; over-the-counter preparations rarely completely eradicate it. Menorrhagia, which I
have, makes you anæmic. PCOS causes hormonal symptoms that are socially
difficult (facial hair, acne, hair loss, weight gain). Fibroids are so common, and are often treated with a hysterectomy.Add in fibromylgia, which affects 8x as many women as men, as well as lupus (and almost any other autoimmune condition), systemic exertion intolerance disorder (SEID), iron deficiency anæmia (all of which affect more women than men), and you have well over 25% of childbearing-age women globally living with chronic pain and tiredness.
Chronic pain is overwhelmingly experienced by women, and women are less likely to be taken seriously or given treatment by medical professionals. I went through two years of diagnostics to finally find out I had occipital neuralgia; I felt doubted when I described my pain at every step of the way, but was lucky to have a partner who was persistent in helping me get treatment.
Basically, this is a huge problem, and also one of the reasons I have been considering medical school.
Don’t forget that most pharmaceuticals go to market without ever having been tested on people with a uterus, lest someone get pregnant… seriously that is the whole rationale behind not testing >50% of the population. This has been legislated against in some countries, but still persists in the of majority drug development because of other regulations, and traditions and laziness. The use of a drug is of course monitored in the population after release, but the people “trying” it in this capacity get none of the insurance, close and regular medical examination or monetary benefit of essentially being in a late stage drug trial. Drugs that are pulled from market after release are sometimes done so on the basis that the dosage is just too high for females/afab people and this is, of course, after they’ve experienced the adverse affects.
This is why if you get pregnant your doctor will take you off basically any and all medication you’re taking (including mental health medication, can’t imagine any implications/dire consequences there), not because they know it will have an adverse affect on the foetus but because they have no idea. How wonderfully kind of them to prioritise the health and life of an unborn foetus over that of a living person, let’s just hope they don’t become ill whilst pregnant. How charmingly logical it is that they wouldn’t even bother to test drugs in people with a uterus because it’s all too difficult and gosh, darn what an ethical conundrum we’ve been faced with, let’s just not! Which is so in the spirit of capital S, Science!
Sources: Nature, Nature, Medscape, Biomedcentral.
Indeed, the issue is so severe that, in many cases, folks with uteruses are routinely told that their diseases and disorders are not, in fact, disorders at all, and are just a normal part of having a uterus.
Take menstrual cramps, for example. Everybody knows that cramps are a normal part of menstruation, and that virtually all people who menstruate experience them throughout their lives, right?
Except that’s not right at all.
Yes, it’s true that about two-thirds of individuals who menstruate begin to experience menstrual pain during adolescence, but it’s basically a side effect of puberty, and normally subsides by your late teens. Only about 20-40% of menstruating adults experience menstrual pain on a regular basis – and according to some estimates, as much as 80% of that figure is due to undiagnosed endometriosis or some other underlying medical condition.
Yeah, roll those numbers around in your head: if you’re an adult who experiences menstrual cramps, it’s overwhelmingly likely that your pain is a symptom of some potentially serious medical condition.
And yet we tell folks it’s just a normal thing that everybody has to deal with.
Bonus round: Look up PCOS and gender identity.
Then look up PCOS and diabetes.
Ok, to show how incredibly important this post fucking is, I just looked up endometriosis and I match just about every sympton, and it would explain not just my incredibly painful periods but many other things as well. I had no idea this existed.
Please, read this post and reblog this so others can learn.
I will reblog this every time because my cousin (a cis girl) went through seven years of pain without being taken seriously until SHE suggested it was endometriosis. And that’s not even unusual – that’s the average amount of time it takes between first symptoms and a diagnosis of endometriosis.
anewyorktimesbestsellingauthor:
Ok so I rly fucking need to clean my house. Do any other People With Depression™ have any tips or ways you motivate urself to clean? Because this feels like the hardest goddamn thing in the world even tho I know it’s not and I’m just continually frustrated with myself and have been for the past two weeks.
HOO BOY DO I HAVE DEPRESSION/EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION CLEANING TIPS
in no particular order (because I have depression and executive dysfunction):
1. If something sensory about cleaning bothers you, eliminate that before you start. For example, I wear gloves to do the dishes. If the sound of the vacuum bothers you, wear headphones and turn up the music. etc.
2. If you can, make a list of everything that needs to be done. Then acknowledge that you probably can’t do it all, and circle all the things that absolutely, no matter what, have to be done. Pick one (ONE! ONLY ONE! START WITH ONE!) of those things and break it down into smaller steps. Then even smaller steps. Seriously, if step one is “stand up” and step two is “walk to closet” and step 3 is “get mop”, that’s fine. It can be that small.
3. Take a break. “But I literally only started five minutes ago!” Don’t care. If you want a break, take a break. “At this point I’ve spent more time on breaks than I’ve spent on cleaning.” Ok, but you’ve spent more than zero time on cleaning, so you’ve accomplished more than you had at the beginning. “If I take a break it won’t get done!” If you burn out it won’t get done either. Take a break.
4. If nothing is working, try what I call bin cleaning/box cleaning. Take a big trash bag and a box. Pick up the first object you see. Step 1: Is it trash? Put it in the trash bag. Step 2: Will you use it in the next 2 days? No? Put it in the box. It’s a problem for Future You. If you’ll use it in the next 2 days, take time to put it away. Rinse and repeat.
5. Did you get distracted and forget what you were doing? Don’t worry about it. Just clean a thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s the thing you were cleaning before. You have to clean lots of things, so just pick a thing and clean it. Eventually you’ll get around to the thing you forgot.
6. If you have to do a thing you really hate, do a thing you like afterwards. I hate doing dishes, but folding laundry soothes me, so that’s a nice one to do afterwards. YMMV. If there are no cleaning things you like that you can do afterwards, see number 3.
7. Make it fun. Play loud music and dance while you’re cleaning. Wear something that makes you feel cute, or if you prefer, something comfy. Light your favorite candle. Whatever.
8. If it’s nice out, open a window. Seriously, it helps.
This is seriously so helpful, thank you.
Do it half-assed. A lot of times, it’s like, “Holy shit, I can’t clean my kitchen, I have 3 weeks worth of dishes and I literally cannot see my stove.”
Dust off the stove. Wash the dishes you think you’ll need for the next meal or two. Move on if you have to.
PSA for my artist friends
Take care of your wrists!
Take. Care. Of. Your. Wrists.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR WRISTS
T A K E C A R E O F Y O U R W R I S T S
Seriously! I just found out I have wrist tendonitis and its pretty painful but it could have been prevented if I’d taken care of my wrists properly!! Take breaks whenever you draw, even if it’s just to get up and walk around! Stretch your wrists during those times! Stretch BEFORE you start drawing!! STRETCH ALL THE TIME
Take care of you non-dominant hand, too! It works just as hard typing away at the keyboard when you’re drawing digitally! That’s what happened to me, I was stretching my right hand plenty, but my left hand kept being jammed into the same position over and over again with no breaks! Don’t do that!
Your wrists and hands are almost always the most valuable part of your body when you’re drawing, and they need to stay healthy. Stretching not only prevents and fixes any short-term damage but it’s been said to prevent arthritis! Now I’m not an expert, but that seems to be a pretty good trade-off for losing a few minutes of drawing time just to stretch!
Reblog to spread the word!
lav3nderwolftumblr 
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