This is so important, stories like this need to be told. The cultural insistence we have that parenthood is some kind of magical bonding that happens every time without exception does real harm to both parents and children, as you can see from some of these stories:
My father recently told me he never wanted kids, but my mother wanted them. She thought he would love us when we were born.
and
I didn’t realize that a maternal instinct is not universal. You know how
you see parents in the delivery room and they are crying tears of joy? I
felt nothing.
[…] My boys are well cared for and I am always here for them, but it feels very unnatural and fake and unenjoyable. It
is a bit like a retail job you don’t like where you put on a fake
persona and slog through it the best you can. I don’t get to leave this
job, though.
and
I also thought I wouldn’t mind missing out on all the partying and holidays because I would have the ultimate gift, a child.
and
I always said I would never have children. I hate kids..I do. I am just not that type of nurturing person. I was always very careful to make sure protection was in use (condoms, birth control) but I am that .1% and apparently very fertile. I do not have that natural motherly instinct that all women seem to have, you know..that one that kicks in the moment they know they’re pregnant. I have to work really hard at it and it’s exhausting. I miss my solitude and being able to “check out” of reality from time to time.
and
Because kids aren’t the life completer we believe they are.
Are there people for whom having children completes their lives? No doubt. Are there parents for whom the downsides like sleeplessness and loss of personal time are outweighed by the love and joy they feel? Of course. Are there people who change their minds about wanting kids once they have them? Sure. But that’s not true for everyone. It doesn’t happen every time, it’s never guaranteed, and the consequences are grievous when people who don’t want children have them anyway trusting that they will love the child and be happy.
We need to dispel the starry-eyed myths around pregnancy, childbirth, and marriage and create more realistic expectations. Parenthood is too important a choice for people not to go into it with their eyes open.
“It doesn’t happen every time, it’s never guaranteed, and the consequences are grievous when people who don’t want children have them anyway trusting that they will love the child and be happy.”
This is why being told things like ‘‘You’ll change your mind when you’re older’‘ and ‘‘Its just maternal instinct! All women got a biological clock!’‘ is so harmful and dangerous.
It invalidates what people feel about it, and makes blatant stereotypes an excuse to pressure people into doing something not only dangerous (pregnancy) but potentially mentally devastating to both unwilling and unenthusiastic parents (having unwanted children) AND children (living with parents that don’t want them).
As we all know, languages work differently. There’s the grammar, words that don’t exist in other languages, and there are different proverbs and sayings etc. that don’t translate well into other languages. I made a post once about Swedish proverbs, and what they mean in English. Now I thought I’d make a post with English phrases/sayings/proverbs that don’t work directly translated into Swedish, and how one would say it in Swedish instead. Not all English sayings work as well as Do unto others as you would have them do to you-
gör mot andra som du själv vill bli behandlad. But of course that’s from the bible, so of course it would translate well. Anyways, here they are:
E-The English saying/phrase/proverb S-How you would say it in Swedish ( ) – How it translates in the other language
1.
E-Raining cats and dogs – (Regnar katter och hundar) S-Det spöregnar – (It’s spear-raining/it’s raining like spears)
In Sweden we have a lot of words for different types of rain and snow – spöregn, duggregn, isregn, pudersnö, mjuksnö, klibbsnö etc.
2.
E-No idea – (Ingen idé) S-Ingen aning – (No idea/inkling/suspicion / I don’t know)
I had a problem with this very phrase when I was in England in 2009, because I got so used to saying no idea, that I said ingen idé, which doesn’t work AT ALL in Swedish. If you say ingen idé, you probably mean that there is no point to something. Det är ingen idé att prata med henne, hon svarar inte – There’s no point in talking to her, she won’t reply.
3.
E-Between a rock and a hard place – (Mellan en sten och en hård plats) S-Pest eller kolera – (Plague or cholera)
Yes, if we have to bad alternatives, we do say it’s like choosing between the plague or cholera. That’s just the way we phrase it.
4.
E-The birds and the bees – (Fåglarna och bina) S-Blommor och bin – (Flowers and bees)
Like, what does the birds have to do with it? We switched it.
5.
E-Cut to the chase – (Klipp till jakten) S-Kom till saken – (Come/get to the thing)
If you say klipp till jakten it sounds like you are editing a video and you want to cut the video and put in a chasing scene. Kom till saken on the other hand means basically get to the point.
6.
E-By the skin of my/her/his/their/your teeth – (Genom huden av mina/hennes/hans/deras/dina tänder) S-Med nöd och näppe – (With need and narrowly / barely)
By the skin of your teeth is such a weird saying. You have no skin on your teeth?
7.
E-Drive up the wall – (Köra upp på väggen) S-Driver mig till vansinne – (Driving me crazy /driving me to insanity)
These two are not completely the same, but it’s the closest I could think of. Worth noting is that driver does not mean driving, if you want to say I am driving you do not say Jag driver, you say Jag kör. Jag driver means I am kidding, coincidentally.
8.
E-Piece of cake – (Tårtbit) S-Lätt som en plätt – (Easy as a small pancake)
I dunno if plättar exists in other countries, but they are basically small pancakes, the same batter and everything. Oh, and if you answer the question How did it go? with Tårtbit! it literally will not make any sense.
9.
E-There’s no such thing as a free lunch – (Det finns inget sådant som en gratis lunch) S-Ingenting är gratis här i världen – (Nothing is free in this world)
I find this expression so funny, because in Sweden, lunch can be free. We have free school lunches from kindergarten and until we’re 18/19 years old. Worth clarifying is that Swedish have two words for Free. One is to BE free – FRI (Jag är fri). The other is that you get something for free – GRATIS (Jag fick resa gratis).
10.
E-Feel a bit under the weather – (Känns lite under vädret) S-Känns lite krasslig – (Feel a bit unwell/bad)
To be under vädret makes absolutely no sense. The Swedish language is often very LITERAL. Which means, if you say you are under vädret, you are literally saying you feel like you are under a weather, which is ridiculous.
Okay, that’ll do for now. Message me if you have any comments or questions 🙂 (Or just reblog if you want)
these white guys are saying Colin Kaepernick would get killed if he sat during the national anthem in Texas or Georgia or something and I’m like that’s exactly his point? that black people are being killed? so you’re proving his point? by saying he would be killed?
Anyone got suggestions for creepy documentaries im in the mood
here you go
not scary scary but its unsettling
What the fuck
Im watching this immediately this looks freaky as shit thank you
I saw this documentary at Sundance when I was working the festival, and every single screening of this film had heightened security, as well as bag and pocket checks before entering the theatre.
Why? Because earlier on in the festival, one of the people from Jane O’Brien Media (the company behind the “tickle cells”) was in the audience disrupting the screening.
At other festivals people from Jane O’Brien Media were kicked out for bringing recording devices into screenings with coffee cups and for continuously attempting to sabotage festival screenings. They hijacked the Q&A at a screening in Los Angeles, where they spent the Q&A portion threatening legal action against the filmmakers.
Not only a great “the truth is stranger than fiction” doc, but an absolutely crucial film to watch in an age where digital media has the power to be used for coercion. There’s a reason why those profiled didn’t want this doc getting out.
Didn’t they also do a follow-up documentary about what happened after the original was released?
I’m adding to this because y’all gonna learn some shit about housing your pets.
Someone make more I love this new meme.
I know that huge homes are great for pets but also did it fucking occur to you that some people don’t have the room or money for those?
hey, guess what. those are all minimum requirements. actually, the person who added onto my post even made the bird cage still TOO small for those birds.
and if you dont have the money or the space for those pets, don’t fucking get the pet.
FUCK. I’ve done this exercise before, but it’s been factors like “if you’re male”, “if you’re able-bodied”, etc. Putting it in these terms is somehow more powerful because it shows the consequences of those kinds of privileges. And then when he says, “None of these statements have anything to do with anything any of you have done” … ugh, I started crying. It’s like the “It’s not your fault” scene; as kids we internalize all this shit as somehow our fault. And the looks on the faces on the guys in back. Fuck.
lav3nderwolftumblr 
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