In peacetime, the ruler grows their hair long. In war, they cut it short.
A ruler with long hair is held in great esteem, for defending the peace.
The traditional declaration of war is for the ruler to send their cut-off hair to the enemy ruler. The statement carries greater weight the longer the hair: to receive long hair says that you have angered one who is slow to anger, that you have incurred a wrath not easily woken.
Violent war-mongering leader frantically and aggressively tries to shave just a LITTLE hair off the top of their head into an envelope.
A faraway king receives a heavy wooden crate filled with a coil of the longest hair he has ever seen.
A despised ruler finds hundreds of pounds of cut-off ponytails at her castle entrance, each one belonging to her own people.
A young emperor refuses to cut their hair and insists on trying to make peace with invaders. The enemy leader steps forward, draws their blade, and cuts the emperor’s hair themselves.
Hellen cuts her hair off and throws it in Cathy’s face at her son’s soccer scrimmage.
He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought.
While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level).
Newsflash! Women don’t obsess about our breasts.
No really, we live with them 24/7, we can see friends, and relatives breasts pretty much on demand, hell, we just have to go to get changed at the gym to be inundated with boobs. They are really boring to us (ad while we’re on it, nowhere near as sensitive as so many men seem to think!).
The only time a woman might obsess about her breasts is when they’re painful, such as when lactating or wearing an ill-fitting bra, and neither situation is at all sexy.
Men obsess over women’s breasts. Women don’t.
I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face.
“In your face all the time (in case of large boobs)”
So apparently large breasts are gravity-defying objects that rise up to our face until eye level, huh??
Any women out there willing to draw out how this guy’s version of boob reality might look like, because this is just too ridiculous 😂😂😂
I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too.
I..am..idk
I am running around with D boobs. Do you really think I am obsessed with them?! The only thing I am obsessed with are big bras!
New study finally visualizes how the average woman perceives her daily life(24/7) with boobs, according to cis men
Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!
This is the land we’ve become. In Bagel We Trust. lol
I’m ashamed. Got amazing news less than 30 seconds after I hit “reblog.”
What gets me is that initial pause. The bird knows this song. He knows when the drum comes in. Being able to anticipate musical rhythm is a form of intelligence very few species have, and this is the most remarkable example of it I’ve ever seen in a bird. The cockatoo knew to wait for the drums.
Swedish new year is pretty similar to new year in other places but we do have some traditions. One is watching the skit “Grevinnan och betjänten” (link has Swedish subtitles). Another one is a live broadcasting from Skansen (a big outdoors museum about Sweden in Stockholm) with the most important part being when someone recites the poem “Nyårsklockan” right before midnight. This is a tradition since 1895 (but it obviously wasn’t televised back then, it was on the radio between 1934–1955 and has been televised since 1977). Other than these two we party, shoot fireworks and drink champagne.
gott nytt år – happy new year
alkoholen – alcohol champagnen– champagne december – December
festen/partyt– party freden – peace fyrverkeriet– firework januari – January kyssen– kiss kärleken– love lyckan/glädjen– happiness
löftet– resolution midnatten– midnight målet– goals ny – new nytt år – new year nyåret– new year (as in a shortened form of new year’s eve) nyårsaftonen– new year’s eve nyårsfesten/nyårsfirandet – new year’s celebration nyårslöftet – new year’s resolution planen– plan tolvslaget – when the clock strikes twelve önskningen– wish
bestämma – to decide dansa – to dance hoppas – to hope fira – to celebrate planera – to plan önska – to wish
Vad gjorde du på nyår? – What did you do on new year? Har du några nyårslöften? – Do you have any new year’s resolutions? Champagnen tog slut långt innan tolvslaget. – The champagne was gone long before the clock struck twelve.
Fun Fact: Apparently Oscar Wilde was 6’3”, which in the 1870s would have been the equivalent of like 6’7”-6’9” tall. He was so ridiculously huge and awkward that one of his friends described him as looking like a “great white caterpillar.” That is all.
When his lover’s father ( one of the founding father’s of boxing as a sport) showed up to kick his ass, Oscar stood up, pulled a gun and said something like
“I don’t know what the Queensberry rules are, but the Oscar Wilde rule is to shoot on sight.”
The more I find out about Oscar Wilde the more delighted I am.
Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.
Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.
pro cilantro and anti cilantro
Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”
No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.
Do you design a lot of characters living in not-modern eras and you’re tired of combing through google for the perfect outfit references? Well I got good news for you kiddo, this website has you covered! Originally @modmad made a post about it, but her link stopped working and I managed to fix it, so here’s a new post. Basically, this is a costume rental website for plays and stage shows and what not, they have outfits for several different decades from medieval to the 1980s. LOOK AT THIS SELECTION:
OPEN ANY CATEGORY AND OH LORDY–
There’s a lot of really specific stuff in here, I design a lot of 1930s characters for my ask blog and with more chapters on the way for the game it belongs to I’m gonna be designing more, and this website is going to be an invaluable reference. I hope this can be useful to my other fellow artists as well! 🙂
lav3nderwolftumblr 
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