Omfg apparently it’s normal/common for survivors to get triggered when doing yoga and exercise routines??? I thought I was just fucking weird
Things that contribute to this (summarized & paraphrased from my session)
being aware of your body which is a site of trauma can make alarm bells go off
Any routine that includes commands (e.g. “now stretch your hands up” or “now breathe in”) can be a trigger
Any routine that includes pain, especially that includes just swallowing pain (“feel the burn! Keep going”)
Any yoga that involves “letting go” or “relaxing” or “spreading out” is a lowering of defenses, a vulnerability, and can feel unsafe
In general the emotions associated with forcing yourself to go through a physical act that feels uncomfortable because you’re “supposed to enjoy it” or because you feel like it’s an obligation
The feeling of not being able to stop at any point, of feeling pressure to going through a whole routine, feels like a loss of autonomy
As a fitness instructor, I felt like weighing in a little. closet-keys has all good points, but that first bullet is a little more complicated.
The human body stores stress and trauma in the body as muscle tension. If you’ve ever clenched your teeth at the sound of a triggering word, or felt your shoulders shoot up to your ears during a flashback, that’s this concept in action. Intense trauma or prolonged stress can make a muscle group really, really tense and tight all the time, especially areas like the shoulders, hips, and chest.
Of course, these areas are EXACTLY where yoga often focuses on opening. So just as psychological events trigger certain muscle groups, the working and stretching of certain muscle groups can bring up feelings of panic and anxiety by association.
It’s very common for people to panic or even start spontaneously crying in intense fitness classes. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s 100% happened to me. It’s really important to work with it, just like in therapy. To identify the cause and relax into the exercise in order to un-train that tension.
Fun fact: people who have a hard time with verbal communication often have tight jaws AND tight hips. Next time you stretch your hips or exercise them, see if your jaw clenches. It’s fascinating.
Platonic intimacy is seeing your friend’s car in the grocery store parking lot and parking so close to him that he can’t open his door and has the crawl through the passenger’s side.
Platonic intimacy is hot gluing four copies of Resident Evil – Code: Veronica to the ceiling of his hallway closet and seeing how long it takes him to notice that there’s four copies of Resident Evil – Code: Veronica hot glued to the ceiling of his hallway closet.
Platonic intimacy is watching the graceful curve of his body as he stretches in bed, fixating on the strip of skin where his shirt’s pulled up juuuust enough that you can sneeze on his exposed stomach and then run away while he’s distracted and bewildered by how super gross and unnecessary that was.
Platonic intimacy is sending him an e-mail that says, “The Harbinger of Boy Sauce is Upon You,” instead of just, like, texting him and letting him know you’re on your way to help him do his shots.
Platonic intimacy is waking him up in the middle of the night because you heard a weird noise outside that you’re about to investigate, and you need moral support and also someone to call an ambulance if you end up having to knife fight a racoon.
So here you have everything I have related to Swedish. Most stuff I’ve found online (especially books and, of course, websites). The documents on Mega are from the lovely @lovelybluepanda.
I’m probably forgetting some stuff, and I’ll update this when I have new stuff to share. Please, let me know if any of the links doesn’t work!
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