fucking-petticoated-swashbuckler:

*road work sign*

Shuri: Road work ahead???

Tony:

Tony: Have you never seen a-

T’Challa: There are no signs like that in Wakanda. Shuri, it means that there is construction on the ro-

Shuri and Peter: *sideways glance*

Shuri and Peter: *unanimously* UH YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

americankimchi:

In no particular order:

1. “I mean… it’s fine. We’re GODS!” — Keyleth, CR1
2. “In the darkness I say, FUCK.” — Vax’ildan, CR1
3. “Your secret is safe with my indifference.” — Percy, CR1
4. “I would like to fist the wound.” — Scanlan, CR1
5. “How lucky I have been to have had all of you. How lucky indeed.” — Vax’ildan, CR1

thingsamylikes:

gluten-free-pussy:

Let me tell you what happened to me an hour ago:

So I’m at the bus terminal and this guy (who’d been following me and hovering over me for 10 minutes) comes up to me and says “hey beautiful. Can I talk to you?” So I said “no thank you.” He goes “I just want to speak to you, though.”
And I said “yeah I know that and I’m not interested in talking to a strange man at a bus terminal. Please leave me alone.”
So he stands there watching me. Finally he says “listen, there’s no need to be difficult. I approached you politely like a gentleman so I don’t see why you’re saying no. Now just let me speak to you.”
I said “nobody’s being difficult my guy. You asked a question, I gave an answer so we’re done.”
Then he says “yeah but the answer you gave me made no sense. Why don’t you want to talk to me? You don’t know what kind of person I am. You’re judging me before you know me. You’re being ignorant and prejudiced so”-
Just then this other guy who’d been sitting close to me said “my nigga shut the fuck up! I saw you following her and stalking her like a fucking animal or some shit, like you didn’t think she didn’t notice? She’s probably scared of your predatory ass and I don’t blame her. Mans need to understand you don’t follow girls and shit. That shits corny.”
So the guy goes “yo, mind your fucking business.”
And the other dude says “nah because I see you harassing this girl and as a man this becomes my business. You thinking you were polite doesn’t mean a girl has to speak to you. Be nice because you’re nice, don’t use that please and thank you shit and think somebody has to speak to you. You’re not a “gentleman if you don’t respect her. Take the L and go catch your bus you fucking creep.”
So the guy starts swearing and then walks away. The guy who’d defended me is like “you okay tho? Like real talk I don’t really like men because of shit like that. They’re fucking predators man. I do what I can when I’m able to for women because you don’t deserve to be hunted.”

This is literally how you do it.

Men, this is how you ally with women, right here.

improfem:

johniaurens:

commander-ledi:

commander-ledi:

im in physical pain every day because finnish tumblr users have the weirdest urls ever but nobody knows it because the urls are in finnish

seriously its shit like moomin-rectal-prolapse, jesus-spanker, foreskin-cum-burrito, turbo-bream-orgy and satan’s-titty-slurper and so on. and im not exaggerating at all. and this is not small minority among finnish tumblr blogs, its more like the standard to have urls like these. and none of you non-finnish-speakers have seen this mess because its written in finnish

i just spent a couple minutes going thru finnish tumblr tags. here’s a short list of some of my faves

roughly “chaotically fertilized” (or maybe inseminated? sikin sokin doesn’t really have a direct translation but it’s kinda like, willy nilly, disorganized, chaotic… like things can be “sikin sokin” (messy, disorganized, chaotic) on ur desk or in a drawer)

pourtmanteau of carousel (karuselli) and celery (selleri)

the lord’s vagina (vittu technically means like. the whole of the genitalia associated w vaginas not just the vagina, and is a curse word that has a denotion that boils down to abt the same as c*nt when used to refer to genitals, but with the severity/social acceptance level/usage of “fuck.” if you can put “fuck” there you can put “vittu” there. herra/the lord means specifically The Lord in the religious sense here)

foreplayground

satan’s pineapple

pourtmanteau of mental illness (mielisairaus) and dinosaur (dinosaurus)

extreme diarrhea

dick mountain

sex toy box

self-beer-er, roughly, but it’s a pun/joke on flasher (itsensäpaljastaja, lit self exposer) and beer (kalja)

@pikkuinen

campfireharvest:

micspam:

micspam:

who give a shit

this website has destroyed my fucking sense of humour like who do i share this with. who do i show this to. all of my friends are normal and i cant show my family anything i do online so just what the fuck where do i go from here

drummermanspike:

this statement dealt 10 damage to everyone in a 2 mile radius

axiological:

If every working-class person in the world decided this afternoon to install solar panels on their roofs and started biking instead of driving, the ice caps would still melt and the human race would still die off. It simply isn’t possible to end climate change while working within a system that sends all your products overseas in massive supertankers wrapped in unrecycled plastic that will be thrown in a landfill the moment it hits land – and practices like that aren’t going to go away because of your purchasing habits.

Nor are we gonna hit some magical point where using clean energy and reducing waste are suddenly the cheapest or most profitable option and so all the world’s big companies fall over each other to switch over. That has never been the case and never will be – the “free market” isn’t going to save us.

The fact of the matter is, this system needs to be torn down if our species is to survive. We don’t have time to delay the revolution anymore. Capitalism is extinction. 

cyanide-skull:

I like it when tybalt tells mercutio to “have at thee boy” because it’s like a really old timey “try me bitch”