mohawkward

xxiwylona:

Boys cry.
Girls masturbate.
Boys can like pink and not be gay.
Girls can have short hair and not be a lesbian.
Boys can like ballet.
Girls can like video games.
Boys can be hot without a six pack.
Girls can be hot without a hairless body.
Boys can have hair down to their waists.
Girls can have stretch marks, curves and back fat.
Gender doesn’t determine what you can and cannot enjoy, what you can and cannot look like or what you can and cannot do.

witchprinxess:

garrettmike:

Her parents must be sooo proud.

You know what, yes her parents should be fucking proud. She made a successful music career and left Disney on her own accord because she was unhappy with them. She is happy as fuck, dude. She is living her life exactly how she wants to be. She is fucking swimming without a top on in the ocean. Have you never swam naked before, dude? This would be fine if she was a man. No one would even think twice about this photo. And that’s fucking bullshit to me. It’s 3 in the morning and I don’t know why I’m getting so pumped about Miley Cyrus but I’m so sick of women getting chastised for showing their fucking breasts. THEY ARE FUCKING BREASTS. And if this was a nudes leak you’d probably be all about it. She knows she was probably going to get photographed here and THATS WHAT BOTHERS YOU. That she is so comfortable with herself and her body that she doesn’t care. She is in control and you can’t take that from her.

safkhet:

satan-official:

rapunzelie:

oops I went on a rant

i love you?

No question, I do love you.

spixpanda:

daffydthomas:

My neighbours cat likes making me late for my school bus (also excuse my gross wheezing of a laughter„)

I’ve never seen an animal more in the way than this cat here. This cat could win an award or something.

Marching Band: *Wins three trophies at two competitions and wins second place in their class*
Football Team: *Loses every single game of the season*
School Board: You know what the football team needs?
School Board: More money.
School Board: We better cut funding for the marching band.
School Board: They don’t really do anything anyway.
School Board: We’re so smart.

I pledge blind allegiance, to a piece of cloth, for symbolism that was defined before I was born. And to the theocracy, for which it now stands, one nation, under white Jesus, for liberty, and justice, for generally overweight, white, heterosexual males

(via thatblokematti)

katie-and-her-fandoms:

notverygoodatflyingaeroplanes:

thegirlbehindthepiano:

so the montreal police officers are on strike and to shame the government they decided to wear different kinds of pants

that’s so beautiful

the fashion police

tomorrowsofyesterday:

um hello yes i have a conspiracy theory, it’s called the systematic oppression of people of color and women leading to an underrepresentation of both groups in the media and in leadership roles, idk maybe that’s why all the 20 acting noms are white and all the director noms are men

ninjanaomi:

castiel-on-top-of-the-tree:

rhamphotheca:

Help Our Turtle Friends!!!

NO NO NO NO

WRONG

SO VERY WRONG

LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG

IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND

SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING

IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.

IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.

IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.

PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.

-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.

-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.

-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.

-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.

-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.

-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.

-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.

WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.

it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.