I’ve had this list sitting around for a while (in case I ever want to try something new) and I thought I’d share it, because why the hell not, everybody loves free stuff. I’ve only used a couple, so for all I know these could be complete shit. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW, RIGHT?
*= available for both windows and mac os
GIMP * – Does a lot of the same stuff as Photoshop.
FireAlpaca * – Similar to Paint Tool Sai, so it’s a good alternative for Mac users.
So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
This should make for an interesting story.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
What a great day.
ALL THE TOILET PAPER IN THE HOUSE. Note to self: Remember for future vengeance purposes.
•support dark skinned natives
•support light skinned natives
•support white passing natives
•support natives whose first languages are their tribal languages
•support natives who cannot speak their tribal language
•support native children who have to teach themselves about their tribal culture
•support natives living on reservations
•support native kids who get asked if their parents live on a reservation
•support native kids who are taught to be embarrassed and ashamed of their heritage
•support métis people who might not know their heritage
•support métis people who aren’t native passing
•support native people who stick to traditional hair and dress styles
•support natives who practice their tribal religion
•support natives who follow mainstream fashion
•support natives who are told they’re “too Indian”
•support natives who are told they’re “not Indian enough”
•but above all, listen to what we have to say about our cultures, our histories, our future, our issues and our people.
Why is everyone freaking out about Nicki/Taylor thing? all that happened was:
nicki: racism!
taylor: sexism?
nicki: no, racism.
then the media was just like:
media: NICKI MINAJ AND TAYLOR SWIFT BATTLE TO THE DEATH IN THE OCTAGON
Also what happened next
taylor: oh sorry
nicki: it’s okay, love you
media: WHO WILL WIN THIS NEVERENDING FIGHT
what she says: i’m fine
what she thinks: ok alright but where are Rhys and Vaughn during Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel? Were Rhys and Vaughn ON Helios during the attack??? Did they hide in an destroyed store in the Hyperion Hub of Heroism? Was Rhys on Helios when Jack came back to save them? Is this where his crush originated? Did Rhys see Jack and those cool Vault Hunters take down the invaders, saving them all, and fell in love???? And is this where he lost his arm?????? And how does Rhys feel in the next chapter of TFTBL when he’s basically the one “attacking” Helios??? I need to know, Gearbox!!
If you’re the kind of person with “unfollowing anxiety” I want you to know it’s okay to unfollow me
I don’t care if we’re mutuals, friends in real life, family, whatever
You aren’t obligated to follow me, I don’t keep track of followers/unfollowers, I don’t “do inventory” and see if my mutuals are still following me, and I definitely don’t ever “call out” someone for unfollowing me
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